Right now, I just want an ordinary, 2.5 children and one dog life. We are hurting so terribly again. Our Nakia was supposed to move in tomorrow morning. In one day...we were ready. We have her room all ready, 8 kids telling their friends that they were getting a new sister, two parents who have worked endlessly to get all the medical, social, and educational plans transfered over, hearts that were invested 100% to bring this beautiful little girl into our family.
The foster family decided to keep her. They had repeatedly said no to the idea. The County even had it in writing--they were not going to adopt her. With the prospect of her leaving, they were faced with the decision again. They changed their mind. She is not coming to our house.
I am thankful that she does not have to move again. And yet, I am so grieving the loss in our lives.
How do I intepret this? Some would say that this should be a sign that we are not meant to adopt again. This has happened to us twice now. I don't know what it means, but I don't think God is telling us not to adopt..I just don't feel that.
I know that in a day or two that I will be able to calm down and stop crying and then I may be able to see that God is doing this for our good. There is another child out there for us...the one God intends for us to parent.
For now, I am thankful that we were able to meet Nakia and get to know her a little bit. We will always pray for her and for her family. She was a gift in our lives even if it was for such a short time. We will love her always....