Everyone has a story...

As strange as this sounds to some, one of the first things I read when I get a chance, are the obituaries. I always have. I love to see the stories of some one's life unfold in the short tribute to them. I love to put the pieces together by sorting out the clues in an obituary. Every person has a story to tell and I love to hear the stories. 

Tyler just bought his first car. After making many calls, taking some test drives and going to the car lots, we found an ad on craigslist for a 2001 Honda Civic with 4,900 miles on it and three of the four fender corners were dented.  "What is the story with that car?" was the first question I asked. This car held a story of  the life of a man who was struggling and his family struggling to care for him. The twin brother of the owner of the car was selling it. His brother was just placed in a nursing care facility. The twins name are Franklin and Delano--Ironic since Tyler is a walking presidental fact encyclopedia. He happens to really like Franklin Delano Roosevelt. 

Both men were teachers until they retired. One of the twins started to struggle with mental health issues soon after and barely left his home the past years. He only drove his car to the grocery store near his house and had difficulty doing that by the condition of the car's bumpers. 

It was a such a difficult decision for the brother to place the other in a nursing home. You could see the heavy weight of that decision on his face. You could feel the love and loyalty that this brother had for his twin. Selling the car was the final step in seeing his brother lose the independence and health that he once had. 

The car was for sale for $7000. Mark offered $6500. He said he wanted to sell the car to us for $6000. What a kind heart that this man had...and truly one who did not see caring for his brother as a burden but a privelege. Tyler's first car has a story...one that has caused me to pray for and be inspired by a family that we have just met. 

More pictures of Elijah on his Make a Wish Trip!

A few more pictures of Elijah on his Make a Wish trip...

Closed Adoptions?

My friend Dorothy has written such a good blog entry regarding closed adoptions. She poses the question, in this day and age, is it really possible to have a fully closed adoption (If you would like to read her thoughts go to www.urbanservant.blogspot.com)

I agree with Dorothy--there is no way to be "assured" that an adoption is going to stay closed. With just a little bit of information, we can find just about any information we need on the web. I think our time is better spent on tackling  our fears and  considering where those fears are rooted within  our hearts.  I know there are situations that warrant fear. Most of my children are adopted through the foster care system and few of the birth parents that  we love have long criminal backgrounds. They have untreated mental health issues. These issues can be scary and all we want to do is protect our children. Our fear is often out of our deep love for our kids--but fear is stil sin in our lives. When we fear, we are doubting how big God is. This fear can also expose are irrational thoughts about birth families and our own insecurities as adoptive parents. 

God is big enough to handle our fears. He also wants to use us in ways we never imagined. We do not just adopt children in my opinion..but whole families. I am so thankful for the opportunity we have had to expand our family in a way that we had not expected when we began on this journey. I am sure that the birth families in my life may find my blog and I would welcome them to have a glimpse into our lives in this way. We have so much less to fear and so much more to gain by reaching out to those whom we share such a precious gift with...our children.