A life on loan...

Tyler helping feeding his cousin, Jordan.

Tyler with his brother Aaron

I have tried to keep the perspective that our children are just on loan to us from God. They don't "belong" to us...we are simply asked to raise them for Him so that they may leave our care and be ready to live fully the life God has designed for them. Tyler turns 18 today. I think that is why I have been so nostalgic lately. A first born child carries with him so many firsts for parents...their birth defines who we are forever...parents. As they continue on through their childhood, that child holds such a unique place filled with such a depth of love that there are truly no words in our vocabulary to express.

From the moment Tyler was born, it was evident the type of personality that God had given him. Even in the womb, Tyler decided to remain right side up...He was breach...playing it safe when it comes to physical ventures has always been his approach...any one who has gone to Valleyfair with him knows that. We barely saw his eyes for the first 3 days of life...not sure what to expect and not sure he wanted to jump into this world until he knew what he was getting into. And yet there is the exact opposite of this part of him...he has been around the world on missions trips, he is not afraid of talking to strangers about Jesus Christ, he studied Biblical Greek when he was in 9th grade when he was the only "kid" in the class. He is an adventurer in so many ways and does not let fear hold him back.

What a ride it has been to be Tyler's mom. I can not express the joy he has brought us through out the years. He is so funny and has made us laugh to the point of tears many, many times. He is so creative and smart that I am not always sure that I know what he is talking about but I am always willing to try and follow the path our conversations take. I love this kid. Can you tell?

Tyler is a first born. We tried all the parenting techniques we learned about on him...and we had read every Christian parenting book out there. There were times when we tried things that seemed like the right thing to do and they went against our God given instincts...and they failed miserably. Tyler has had his challenges over the years as well and we have often felt ill equipped to handle those issues when they appeared. We never wanted Tyler to feel pressure to have to live up to unrealistic expectations he may think we have for him. He is just a sinner saved by grace and we want him to know that we expect him to fail  at times and not succeed in all things--that is how God gets our attention at times. We sure don't have all the answers but we know where to find them and where not to look . Over the years, we have learned to look at the one source for our parenting advice...It is amazing to know that despite our fumbled attempts at parenting, that God is in control of His children and that he will take our efforts and in His timing fill in the gaps that we so lacked as parents and mentors to our kids. He is completing a good work he has begun in us as parents and in our son.

While I love to look back on all the incredible times we have shared over the years, I want to focus on what lies ahead. I grab any moment I can have with him now when he is not at school, work or with friends. I love to spend time talking with him and learning what is going on in that complex mind of his these days.

I am so thankful to have the honor of holding so much of Tyler's childhood within my heart. His love and undying commitment to Christ has been inspiring to me. Now, I am in a new phase of life...learning how to be the parent of an adult child. I am fully confident that Tyler is ready to direct the course of His life...He is ready to make the decisions that are ahead of him and when he makes mistakes, I know he can pick himself up and start again. I know that He knows who to turn to during the times of trials and the times of success...His heavenly Father. And today, I am placing my baby back into the arms of Jesus as we have done each day of his life. He is yours, Lord...thank you for sharing him with us.

Happy Birthday, Tyler--I could have not been more blessed by having a chance to share these 18 years with you...