I think "delayed processing time" is what happens to me when I am confronted with unexpected news. Last week, we brought Miss Maisy in for a CT scan and a visit to the neurosurgeon/cranial facial doctor team. We were coming off of the amazement we were feeling as we watched Maisy recover so steadily and remarkably from the major surgery just three weeks earlier. She handled the CT scan like a pro and off we were to meet with the doctors to have them tell us she was doing great and we should follow up in a year or so. And you would think I was born yesterday....
The first doctors entrance was filled with concern....not a response I was expecting. I really had not prepared myself for this to be anything but a routine visit like the last one we had been to four months earlier. He started out reviewing the last surgery she had had and told us of the very abnormal skull structure she was born with--he put things into perspective by reminding us that she has very abnormal, thick and dark colored skull bones--and that he has seen his share of abnormal skulls. Hers, in his words, is even more unusual than the other abnormal ones he sees. He told us that Maisy's skull bones had fused back together and there was no room for her brain to grow. She was one year out from her craniosynostosis repair--a condition where the skull bones fuse together prematurely...and one that requires an extensive surgery.
She is in danger again. We learned that skull bones don't grow but are pushed out in response to the brain's growth. Her brain has no room to grow. She will need to have a another cranial reconstruction. After they make an incision from ear to ear, they will remove some parts of her skull including her forehead. They will then reshape it and reattach with with dissolvable plates and screws. Isn't that amazing on one level and potentially terrifying on another? The blessing, in disguise of a birth defect, is that she has a very large fontanelle that is open. This has given us about 6 months before she needs this surgery. Eventually she will need a surgery to repair that fontanelle. But for now, it gives a bit of a safety net if her brain needs to expand beyond the skulls capacity at this point.
So, she has six months to heal from the last surgery. Six months to get through H1N1 season. six months to get through the respiratory infection season. Six months to have fully grafted into her new family life. And six months for us to dread the future or to celebrate the present. And then we begin again with the surgery and healing cycle.
The neurosurgeon came in after the cranial specialist, he nearly walked out of the room to make sure that he had the right patient. As she took over the filter off of her trach, put her finger in it and said "Hi" to him! He was very surprised at how great she looked despite all of her challenges. And right on cue, Maisy dazzled him with her personality and intelligence.
So, this past week, I have been slowly processing this news...feeling kind of dazed and stuck in a place where I can't take it all in. With each day, I have slowly been making the choice to give this all back to the Creator who knows every bone, every aspect of her body. I have been lifting my fears and moments of panic up to Him in recognition that He is in control..not me, not the doctors, not even amazing Maisy...and we are so thankful for that. And so for now, as I dust myself off and pull myself out of the fog, we will anticipate the exciting news..Maisy's adoption finalization on November 5th!
