Monday, October 11, 2010
I don't know what the future will hold for him--frankly it if even difficult to care about that right now. I know my son is hurting right now. No child wants to be this out of control. I know where the answers lie to help him heal but I can't make him see what I see now matter how hard I might try. But what is breaking my heart right now is watching the effect his behaviors are having on the other kids. With 9 siblings watching all of this..hearing the defiance and disrespect, how are they going to avoid picking up on the same behaviors...especially when 4 of them have their own FASD and mimic others behavior at every turn. It is only 7:15am in the morning and already I have been told to I am hated, that I should shut up, that I'm dead if I talk to the principal...what will this day hold?
So, now that we are full force into this hellish existence with our 13 year old right now, I must find a way to hold on to the One who was mocked, hated and betrayed unjustly...the only One who is capable of turning this situation around..of protecting the other children from the confusion and evil that is thrown at the parents they love...I know I can't handle this situation..It is way beyond me. But, it isn't beyond my Father. And, this morning, I will crawl up into my heavenly Father's big, strong arms and allow him to comfort and protect me...to calm my fearful heart...with His soothing, healing touch.
at 8:00 AM