I don't know what the future will hold for him--frankly it if even difficult to care about that right now. I know my son is hurting right now. No child wants to be this out of control. I know where the answers lie to help him heal but I can't make him see what I see now matter how hard I might try. But what is breaking my heart right now is watching the effect his behaviors are having on the other kids. With 9 siblings watching all of this..hearing the defiance and disrespect, how are they going to avoid picking up on the same behaviors...especially when 4 of them have their own FASD and mimic others behavior at every turn. It is only 7:15am in the morning and already I have been told to I am hated, that I should shut up, that I'm dead if I talk to the principal...what will this day hold?
So, now that we are full force into this hellish existence with our 13 year old right now, I must find a way to hold on to the One who was mocked, hated and betrayed unjustly...the only One who is capable of turning this situation around..of protecting the other children from the confusion and evil that is thrown at the parents they love...I know I can't handle this situation..It is way beyond me. But, it isn't beyond my Father. And, this morning, I will crawl up into my heavenly Father's big, strong arms and allow him to comfort and protect me...to calm my fearful heart...with His soothing, healing touch.
Praying in tears over him as I type. Cling to Jesus...and call me if you need to lose it.
ReplyDeletehugs
Oh nuts. I so hear you. Throw the F-bomb in there about 20 times, and you have described my morning to a T. Praying for us both, and for them of course.
ReplyDeleteLifting you up in prayer today. (((hugs)))
ReplyDeleteI'm praying for you and your family, Julie. Thank the Lord that you and Mark have been called to love like this. You are both showing love, affection, and the grace of parenting to those that most other people would reject, just as the Lord loved us and called us despite the outrage of our offenses against Him. "We love because He first loved us." 1 John 4:19
ReplyDeleteI believe and trust that He will continue to pour into your hearts the same endless love that sustained Jesus through all His trials. May you receive abundant comfort as you keep turning to Him. Our Father has the power to change any heart, and He will not be slow in showing love to His children who cry out to Him!
Am praying for you (and Barb)! God bless you both, for loving children who desperately need it, and who are infinitely worth it, but who are so, so hard to love sometimes.
ReplyDeleteHang on. You are in the worst of it right now but it can get better as the brain slowly matures. Stability and protection will help. Prayers help, too...and you have mine.
ReplyDelete~Kari