They say we lose 20 IQ points when we get caught up in a power struggle. That could be underestimating the phenomenon. There are some days when I walk in and listen to the conversation between our RAD/FAS kid and My husband and I can tell the IQ points have left the room. It was my turn to engage in a pointless power struggle yesterday with the same child. He was nearing a rage and his med had worn off...there were not many neurons firing in the right places in his brain to say the least. Although, mine were not working so well either. It all began with my futile attempts to get him to follow through with his consequences for earlier inappropriate behavior..remember the Family Circus cartoon when you could follow the path the kids took to just about anywhere?...well that is the same path we took to nowhere. By the time we were done, I am pretty sure I threatened him with loss of every privilege he could ever have had and then some...
I had so wished that I had taken a deep breath, stepped back from the situation and realized that at this point in time--both his state of being and my state of exhaustion, was going to set us up for pure destruction.
I hate it when I watch the relationship we have worked so hard to build up, crumble in a few short minutes. Time to brush myself off and start building again...
