The four red roses represent the children that were dedicated. The white rose represents our son, Evan, who passed away almost 4 years ago. Those flowers are a beautiful snapshot of the story of our life in the past few years. If Kaden had not joined our family after we had thought our family was compete, we may have never brought his full sibling, Evan, home on a trach and a ventilator. And if it wasn't for Evan and the challenges he faced in life, we may not have felt equipped to say yes to Elijah, Maisy or Isaac. God knows what he is doing as he makes creates the bouquet that becomes our family.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Behind the scenes of Dedication day...
Getting ready for Church is never an easy task but it was all the more difficult on the morning of Dedication. With 4 kids to tube feed, medications, and most everyone needing hands on dressing, we found ourselves rushing even though we began the process three hours earlier. All the kids were ready, and it was time to get in the van and we realized that neither Mark nor I could find our dress shoes. I settled for an old pair of crocs and Mark had nothing to wear with his suit. Assuming that he had found a pair, we set off to Church. When we drove into the parking lot and all piled out of the van, I looked down to see that Mark was wearing my shoes! That was all he could find. They were 3 sizes too small! I think this tells the story of our lives in many ways. There is a lot you must give up to live this kind of a life and sometimes it is your shoes and your pride!
Dedicating you...Kaden Mark
Dear Kaden, this month you turn 6 years old. For 6 years, we have watched you grow and exceed the expectations that others had set for you. You have a heart that is so big...you share love so freely to others. These past two months, we have watched you take Isaac under your wing and show him the ropes of being a Martindale. You celebrate every time Isaac moves his arm or coughs on his own. You get excited about things that you don't even realize other kids your age don't know about...like 100% O2 sats, or range of motion exercises gone well.
You, my sweet son, have a heart for God. You think deeply about God and about heaven. You have so many questions..and some of those questions don't have answers quite yet. But, you trust that God is in control..and when we tell you that God has the answers because he wrote the Book on it all, you laugh and ask even more questions ...like "will there be dinosaurs in heaven? or spiders? or killer whales?"
And then there are the questions that are hard for a mom to hear because the answers that I have are not always enough for a 5 year old like you..Like, "why did baby Evan have to die?" or "Why can't Isaac walk?" And when your response to any answer I give you, is "Let's just tell God and he will fix it and make it better."
It is so hard for you to understand that God's will is not always to make things better. And as you struggle to make sense of things because of the disability that God has given you, it is hard for your Mom to watch you feel so much pain for the ones you love.
And yet on your dedication day, I will remind myself and you that God will comfort and give you all that you need to deal with the life that he has given you. We are humbled that God has allowed us to be a part of your life, Kaden Mark. Your smile and your infectious laugh have put so many hard times into perspective for us. You have helped us in ways you may never understand...because you have been placed in our family, we have all been forever changed for the better. We thank you, Kaden, and we thank God for the blessing you are to us. We promise you Kaden, that we will stand by your side through the thick and thin of life. We will pray for you every day of our lives and each day we will thank God for the gift you are to us.
You, my sweet son, have a heart for God. You think deeply about God and about heaven. You have so many questions..and some of those questions don't have answers quite yet. But, you trust that God is in control..and when we tell you that God has the answers because he wrote the Book on it all, you laugh and ask even more questions ...like "will there be dinosaurs in heaven? or spiders? or killer whales?"
And then there are the questions that are hard for a mom to hear because the answers that I have are not always enough for a 5 year old like you..Like, "why did baby Evan have to die?" or "Why can't Isaac walk?" And when your response to any answer I give you, is "Let's just tell God and he will fix it and make it better."
It is so hard for you to understand that God's will is not always to make things better. And as you struggle to make sense of things because of the disability that God has given you, it is hard for your Mom to watch you feel so much pain for the ones you love.
And yet on your dedication day, I will remind myself and you that God will comfort and give you all that you need to deal with the life that he has given you. We are humbled that God has allowed us to be a part of your life, Kaden Mark. Your smile and your infectious laugh have put so many hard times into perspective for us. You have helped us in ways you may never understand...because you have been placed in our family, we have all been forever changed for the better. We thank you, Kaden, and we thank God for the blessing you are to us. We promise you Kaden, that we will stand by your side through the thick and thin of life. We will pray for you every day of our lives and each day we will thank God for the gift you are to us.
Dedicating you...Maisy Grace
Maisy Grace...there is only one word to describe you and that is JOYFUL. You shower others with joy when you walk into a room. Sometimes I have to pinch myself to make sure that I am not just dreaming that you are mine. You have been through more than any other person that I know, but to see your shining spirit, you would never know it!
How could we, as healthy people, have a thing to complain about when you continue to smile and spread sunshine in the midst of all that you have endured. My dear Maisy--your name describes you so well...you are A'maisy'ing Grace at it's finest.
On the day you came into our home, you brought with you sunshine and renewed our hope. We are enjoying you so much, Miss Maisy. On this week when you will undergo another major surgery, what a blessing it has been to start out the week with the dedication service of our little girl. We thank God for you Maisy Grace--you are an incredible blessing to our family. Go out and change the world, little one, one smile at a time!
How could we, as healthy people, have a thing to complain about when you continue to smile and spread sunshine in the midst of all that you have endured. My dear Maisy--your name describes you so well...you are A'maisy'ing Grace at it's finest.
On the day you came into our home, you brought with you sunshine and renewed our hope. We are enjoying you so much, Miss Maisy. On this week when you will undergo another major surgery, what a blessing it has been to start out the week with the dedication service of our little girl. We thank God for you Maisy Grace--you are an incredible blessing to our family. Go out and change the world, little one, one smile at a time!
Dedicating you...Elijah Jordan
Elijah Jordan...there are few words that can capture how we feel about you. The day we met you, the doctors told us that you would not survive. We were taking a baby home that was so sick, we could only pray for you and pour our hearts and souls into your care. You are a miracle and for that we are grateful. And as we have struggled with your autism over the years, we are growing in our acceptance of this disability that was given to a little boy that already seemed to have been given his share of troubles.
There are many things about your autism that are an amazing gift. You can read and count and memorize things way beyond kids your age. You are talking now...although most of what you say is repetitious, we are amazed every time you speak because we know how precious it is to have a voice. Our prayers were answered when you began to talk. Life for you is either very joyous or very tough. Sounds bother you..cheering and clapping make you sob. But the smallest things can make you laugh and laugh until you can barely stand up.
Elijah, we love you beyond what you could ever imagine. You must endure medications, shots, bloodwork, countless doctors visits and eventually a bone marrow transplant. You face the world through the lens of autism on top of it all. And yet, we know with certainty that God has not made a mistake when he created you. He is good and you have been made in his image. God loves you and knows intimately the struggles you face..and his promises to you are true. He will bring glory to his name through you. He will hold you up and comfort you in ways we may never understand.
Today is Mother's day and for some Moms, today is not an easy one. Elijah's has two moms. Both that care about him and love him dearly. Today, as we dedicate Elijah, we will pray for his birth mom. We never feel like we have adopted a child, but a whole extended family. Today, we pray for them...for I know they have such bittersweet emotions...as they love Elijah from afar.
There are many things about your autism that are an amazing gift. You can read and count and memorize things way beyond kids your age. You are talking now...although most of what you say is repetitious, we are amazed every time you speak because we know how precious it is to have a voice. Our prayers were answered when you began to talk. Life for you is either very joyous or very tough. Sounds bother you..cheering and clapping make you sob. But the smallest things can make you laugh and laugh until you can barely stand up.
Elijah, we love you beyond what you could ever imagine. You must endure medications, shots, bloodwork, countless doctors visits and eventually a bone marrow transplant. You face the world through the lens of autism on top of it all. And yet, we know with certainty that God has not made a mistake when he created you. He is good and you have been made in his image. God loves you and knows intimately the struggles you face..and his promises to you are true. He will bring glory to his name through you. He will hold you up and comfort you in ways we may never understand.
Today is Mother's day and for some Moms, today is not an easy one. Elijah's has two moms. Both that care about him and love him dearly. Today, as we dedicate Elijah, we will pray for his birth mom. We never feel like we have adopted a child, but a whole extended family. Today, we pray for them...for I know they have such bittersweet emotions...as they love Elijah from afar.
Dedicating you....Isaac Robert
It will never cease to amaze me how unique and precious every child of God has been made. Sweet, sweet Isaac, has added so much to our family...he has brought gifts to each of us that we didn't even know that we needed. You have already taught us what it means to be utterly dependent on God. You rely on us and we rely on Him. Despite your struggles, you smile and share so much love with us....a love that is so pure and so heart piercing...and I know that our hearts have not been the only ones that have been pierced by you. God is using you..His love is being reflected through your eyes. What did we do without you, Isaac? As Kaden says, "We love you a bunch of infinities."
There may have been a time, when we would stand with other parents who were dedicating strong and healthy babies and feel sadness and grief for our little one. But not today. I feel like God has worked through these mixed feelings I have had in the past because I felt honest joy for these families who have been given healthy infants. Even though our Isaac will not run or jump in this life, there is so much more waiting for him in heaven. We could not have been more honored to stand before our congregation today and affirm the promises of dedication over you. We will cherish you always and we promise you that we will pray for you and care for you..no matter what challenges come your way. We will care for you with all that we have in us and if we are called to, we will walk you home to your heavenly father.
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