Different is not the same as weird

Track and Field day apparently had a new event this year. Trach Cares 101--a seminar taught by Maisy Martindale and her big brother Kaden. The boys were gathered around asking Kaden why his sister had "that thing around her neck." With great pride and tenderness, Kaden explained that if Maisy didn't have that she couldn't breath and that she needed it so that we could suction her. With such sweetness and without any hesitation or discomfort, He was so excited to show his sister off, trach, gtube and all. If only we all could have learned about disability in this way at this age...without fear or feeling self concious about asking questions. It was just so sweet. Because disability is not the same as weird and it is not scary..it's just different. And Kaden shared that so well with his friends today.

Parenting shift...It's about what I don't say...

When our kids get to a certain age, I find myself spending more time stopping myself from speaking, then I do taking with them. Most of my interactions with one of my teenagers this morning was spent without many words because each time a thought popped into my head I knew it wasn't going to be productive to share it. Like, "You could find your other shoe if you would scrape the layers of clothing off of your bedroom floor.." or "If you weren't on facebook until midnight, I bet you could have made it on the bus this morning." Or worse yet, "If you think about something else besides your friends, than maybe you would be in the academic mess you are in right now." All of these statements are true. None of those statements would have been helpful at the time I wanted to say them. She knows. She has the facts. She just has to allow what she knows to penetrate her heart and mind to take action. If only I could do that for her.
It is so easy to say something that can stick with someone forever. My tongue can be such a double edged sword.  The love I have for her seems to lose it's depth when words can so quickly cut her down. 
And so, instead of saying something I would regret, I try and sing hymns in my mind and I breath deeply and slowly. And since I can hardly remember the words to any songs, I resort to unforgettable lyrics like "How great thou art." or "The Gambler"  by Kenny Rogers---you've got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em, know when to walk away..know when to run. You've got to count your blessings when you are sitting at the table...