Monday, June 21, 2010
How do we honor our little boy who we will never, ever forget...it seems so sad to spend it at the cemetery..to spend it imagining what today may have been like if he had lived. But, yet my mind wanders all day...to what might have been. I can envision him clearly at this age. I can smell him and I can feel his sweet, soft skin. I can feel the warmth of his smile as it radiates joy. And I can sense the peace he had knowing that in his last months on earth, he had a family...his very own family. In some ways, it does not seem like he is gone. Where ever I am, I feel as if I am carrying him. Aware that others have no idea that I bring my little boy everywhere I go...but I wonder...do they know when they look at each family picture or when they look in my eyes that someone is missing.
But in many ways he is not missing. Because when you look into my eyes, you will see him there...my eyes show the sadness and depth of dependence on God that Evan helped to solidify in my heart. My eyes show the struggle to keep my son's memory alive. My eyes show the peace that I have felt knowing that God can get any of us through what seems to be unimaginable pain and suffering. My eyes, at the same time, hold the joy that our little boy brought to our family. He is in our family photos..in our hearts...on our minds.
Happy Birthday Evan Tyler Martindale...we will love you forever.
at 10:13 PM