Hanging on by a thread...

“If you are hanging on by a thread right now, make it a thread attached to the hem of Christ’s garment. It will be enough.”        Jared Wilson

It seems that many of my friends are in the midst of some difficult and painful struggles with their kids right now. They are hanging on by a thread..I can hear it in their voices, I can see it in their eyes...and I can feel it in their presence. I am right alongside in the midst of the struggles with them..life is rough right now.

Our kids who present us with such struggles present to us such gifts...we are forced beyond our comfort zones...we are forced to hang on by a thread because we are stripped from the life of self indulgence that we may have had if they had not entered our world. As parents who don't have the "my child is an honor student" bumper sticker proudly displayed on their vehicles--there is little room for false pride or confidence in our parenting successes.We are raw and often transparent. Not because we necessarily want to be..but because our child with a disability doesn't usually just blend in with the crowd..especially in middle or high school.

What would my bumper sticker say...I often think of such funny comebacks to the cliche bumper stickers...and usually after I have laughed hysterically thinking of the possibilities (i.e. "my child is two standard deviations below the mean,") I find myself revisiting a place of sadness that I had thought I had left behind years ago. But, I bounce back...because the thread I am clinging to is strong enough to hold all of the feelings about this life I have been called to. And when I am clinging, I have little time to worry about what some else's life is like...cause I am hanging on for dear life.

 And on most days, when I am bombarded by so much going on,  God reminds me of the simple, precious blessings that I get from my kids. McKenna is 18 years old now and today I opened up a checking account for her. There is nothing like sitting across the desk from a well meaning banker trying to explain to McKenna how to balance a checkbook. She had a grin on her face the whole time. She even understood the silliness of his attempt. And she was okay with it because she just couldn't wait to get out of the bank so that she could order a philly beef from Arby's with her own cash card...the card she signs with 5 oversized letters....K-E-N-N-A. Somehow the sweet innocence of my grown up child puts my day into perspective..and makes me smile. God is teaching me so much through the children He has placed in my life.

I am thankful for the times of reprieve from the struggles going on...

....And let that thread be attached to the hem of Christ's garment...it will be enough.
Isn't that an amazing thought?!

It's the massive elephant that is getting in the way...

My dear friend Dorothy has once again helped my to sort out what is going on in my own head right now. In her post at (Sub) Urban Servant, she shared how she had forgotten to eat the elephant one bite at a time...and that is just what I have been doing also. I get so overwhelmed by the shear size of the elephant, I become immobilized...frozen and unable to make progress that goes beyond just maintaining...I also can not see the progress that has been made because there just is no seeing much past that enormous elephant...

And so this morning, I feel a subtle but evident surge of energy...a new sense of direction. I can't tackle the issues going on all at once and I don't need to. I can look back and see the steps that have been taken and be thankful that God has brought us this far. I will celebrate the little steps we've made in the right direction.
I will lay my mistakes, my wasted moments, my feeble attempts to do this on my own before the throne...and graciously accept the tender forgiveness extended to me.  And I will listen for that still small voice, to guide me to the places He wants me to go.

And maybe that elephant will start to shrink...one bite at a time.