...and now I have proof! Maisy and McKenna are performing in "The Best Christmas Pageant Ever" this weekend and next with the Ramsey Community Theatre. Hope is the stage manager. If you are in the area, I really hope you can come. I think you will love it.
This week has been an emotional one. Maisy has been practicing for this play since she September. She has loved it and asks to go to play practice every day. The other kids in the play have taken her under their wing and she has loves them. These are the times when life seems so normal for her. Every moment that I watched her in practice...almost every moment that I watch her in life...I see something so different than just a 3 year old girl. I see a miracle. And I get stuck in a sense of awe that I can't shake even if I wanted to...awe at God's goodness...awe at the way God uses the least of these in magnificent ways.
Most of us live with some fears that are universal...we fear the loss of our health, we fear the loss of a loved one...fear can hold us back in so many ways. Maisy was born on this earth with neither of those in tact...her health or her family. And yet, in God's grace, He has given a spirit of joy that transcends her loss. She shines for him...and I can't help but stop and bask in His light. And yet, Maisy continues to struggle...
This week, we met again with the neurosurgeon and craniofacial doctor... a follow up from the last cranial reconstruction she had in May. We expected a routine visit but instead were met with some unsettling news. During the reconstruction, the doctors attempted to repair Maisy's very large open fontanelle on the back of her head. They used strips of her own bone to make an X to attempt to create a framework within the space. The theory was that the bone would graft in and eventually grow to fill in the open space. Instead, her body reabsorbed the bone....there was no sign of it on the x-ray. That portion of the surgery did not work and she will need another surgery to repair her skull.
Our sweet baby girl..another cranial surgery? You have been through so much sweetheart. And you leave the office giving the surgeons high fives and telling them "thank you..bye...I'll miss you." You are a gift beyond words to us. God has not made his purpose for your life unclear. We know that it is in your frailty, in your struggles and in your loss that others will find gain...but you are my sweet baby girl...could I take over your fight? Can I stand in your place? Can they operate on my skull, my heart instead of yours?
My sweet, sweet angel. It is your purpose not mine. You were called to something even greater than I was. And God gave you all that you need to complete His purposes...you have been given an amazing spirit of joy and thanksgiving in the midst of heart-wrenching struggles that you have endured. And yet, his power has been shown to be perfect in your weakness.
And so, that is what Christmas is all about. A baby...so frail and helpless born to a Momma...who would have done anything to take away the pain her son would endure. And yet, knowing that God's plan for her child's life was not hers...and His ways were perfect, she loved him and guided him with full knowledge that no child of ours belongs to us...that they are just on loan to us...
From their heavenly Father who has a plan.
I told you she was an angel...she is my angel.