Saturday, December 11, 2010
This Saturday in December is probably the busiest day of December for us each year. It always seem to be filled with Christmas events...concerts, plays, parties, and all the other stuff that fills our December. It has been my prayer that our holiday season would not be cluttered with the "stuff" that we tack onto to Christmas...and we would aim to celebrate a much more pure and intentional Advent season. God must have decided that we needed a little help and so He made his presence known in a big way around here...he brought us a blizzard.
The play performances have been cancelled...the Christmas party...the last minute running around for stuff...all cancelled. The littlest kids are staying in the pajamas today and the older kids are drying off from playing in the snow. And I in my kerchief..(okay, maybe that was all getting a little sappy.)
I am thankful for this blizzard..we can stay in..safe and warm. Who knows how and when we will get shoveled out...but for now, I am going to be grateful that God teaches and guides us in so many different ways. Today, he is using the snow...that is keeping us from filling our day with stuff...and I am going to attempt to fill my time with Him. Lately, I have been feeling overwhelmed. Sometimes I feel like a robot...going to the grocery store, bagging, loading, unloading, watching most of the groceries disappear within hours (the easy stuff like cheese sticks, yogurts, fruit), cooking, cleaning up, doing the laundry, reminding kids to help, repeat, repeat, repeat.) Yesterday, I found myself nearly immobilized as I sat in my van, knowing I had to bring in all the groceries yet again. I wasn't sure I could move. I was stuck..I was tired...I was feeling unappreciated. You know the feeling...oh, the kids say thank you, but it seems to be part of an underlying plan to get something from you...a ride, money, a video game rental...As I strive to focus on this life God has so graciously given to me...as I try to remind myself that I love to serve...as I try and find the underlying joy that I usually feel knowing that I am doing just what God wants me to be doing...I find myself buried deep in the snow piled up around me. Just like the snow, my life and all that comes with it is from God...the day to day stuff that can weigh us down. But, He does not want us to be crushed by the blessings he gives us...and that is how I have been feeling lately...crushed by the very blessings I hold so dear.
I need today to refocus on that which He has given me. Life on the outside of our home has stopped because of the snow...but inside these walls, there is plenty to do that could also just fill up our time and minds. Nobody is going to g-tube feed themselves around here today to give me a break. And I can safely say that even if the work doesn't get done by Mark and I today, that same work will be piled up and waiting for us tomorrow. But, there is one thing that can change...and that is my focus. When I focus on the purpose of all the little tasks that seem so overwhelming...when I remind myself of the incredible honor it is to be apart of caring for our beautiful and precious children with disabilities, I can pick up the laundry off of the floor once again, I can do it all over again...with a heart filled with gratefulness for the life God has given me. I can not stop the snowstorm, but I can celebrate it's beauty once again.
at 11:55 AM