A still life of my world......

I admire the beauty of still life photos that display every day life...they tell a story of the real life that is lived between the big events..the birthday parties, graduations, and new babies arriving...
Some people have beautiful, well thought out and perfectly displayed still life photos..ones that evoke calm and beauty...mostly those snapshots are more about what we want our lives to be all about...not necessarily the way life is actually lived out. Life at my house just isn't that put together...it's messy and less than picture perfect...just like my heart.

Always thankful for Costco and Sam's club!

We went away for a week between Christmas and New Years. Just getting out the door is an incredible challenge. I think the kids had fun...they were able to swim at the pool, sit in the hot tub and play lots of  games. I bought ice fishing poles but they never made it out of the packages.  I spent my week fighting the feelings that vacations are not for people who are raising 9 kids with special needs...because we don't get to step out of our lives to "get away" no matter how much we want to believe it can happen. It wasn't that Isaac was sick all week and spent a day in the Emergency Room. It wasn't even the lack of sleep...that is a daily reality. It is the maintenance of our lives that doesn't get easier or less monotonous if we are doing the same tasks in new surroundings...it is the same stuff..different day. I think the kids had fun but I wish I KNEW the kids had fun...I am not sure because I feel like a part of me was absent just trying to get all that needs to get done in a day...I want to be a parent that is present..in the moment with my kids...but it didn't feel that way this past week.

Getting ready for the morning routine..

The amount of syringes used to give medications in one day...just for Isaac. Decided to get a little creative to make washing syringes more fun!

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Nebulizers, 

and oximeters, 

 and feeding pumps, oh my!

An average pharmacy haul...and this occurs weekly at least.

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. James 1:2

Maisy loves going underwater...she is even smiling!

Create in me a pure heart O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Psalm 51:10


Amidst the struggles and the exhaustion, there is such beauty that lies within the day to day world I live in. There is little use in focusing on the things in my life that demand my attention...they will get the attention they require...but for today and each day forward, Lord willing, I want to focus on the one who tells us to cast all our cares upon Him...the one who has proved to be faithful in his loving, tender care of all the details of our lives. I need your touch today, Lord...evidence that you are there to care for the financial, medical, electrical, plumbing needs that are staring us in the face. I know that you are concerned with all the details of our lives Lord...I just need to feel that deep within my spirit. It sounds so silly to say that you are able to handle all the needs I have today...it is like asking a grown man if the feather he is holding is too heavy.  But, today, I need to know that you are holding us all in your loving arms...that you will renew our hearts, bodies and spirits..I thank you for the blessings you have given me...and yet I come to you asking for something more...remind me that this life is beautiful...because it is from you. You love us too much to give us a life without struggles.