I love it when the weather matches my overall mood. Sorry to those of you who were planning a day at the beach, but this is perfect hospital weather. The clouds, the rain and the thundertorms are raging here. With wall to wall windows, we are enjoying wathcing the weather. We are safe, and warm and dry..we are feeling protected from the storms. That is our feeling both inside and outside the room. Elijah is doing well today. The medications are managing his nausea and pain and he has a bit more energy than yesterday. I think he is still uncomfortable but it is so hard to know how he is feeling.
He wants to play bowling on the WII. That consists of me playing WII and him directing me to press the buttons in the way that he wants me to. He doesn't have the energy to actually play. In between little naps, he is watching TV and playing his ipad. He often falls asleep sitting up..he doesn't like to give in to the fatigue.
We are enjoying the rain..the lightning show, and the feeling of being tucked safely under our blankets warm and dry. I hope you are too.
I recently read the story behind the Casting Crowns song "Praise you in the Storm." It is the story of a mother and her 10 year old daughter who was dying of cancer. I love the lines...
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away.
I lift my eyes onto the hills.
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth..
Praising him in the storms today...
Monday, August 1, 2011
Day + 3: Lay by You, Momma
Elijah's world has become smaller and smaller. First, on the day we arrived two weeks ago, I thought the challenge would be keeping him in. We made a tape line by the door that he could not cross. Bolting out of the door was so tempting. He talked of the elevator, and the Mall of America, and Chuck E. Cheese.
In just a few days, His world shrunk again. We talked of the elevator some more. Then P3, the parking ramp level...and we talked about what was going on outside the window of his room. He has a great view..the Minneapolis skyline, road construction, ambulances, helicopter landings...even an occassional dumpster diver can be observed for 20 minutes of suspenseful entertainment. We no longer needed the line on the floor...he knew now he wasn't getting out Of his isolation room for awhile.
The room has been getting smaller. Lots of trips to the "potty" have broken the days up for Elijah. So much talk about who was going to flush..the nurse or Mommy? Not Elijah.. it's too loud for him. Lots of talk about the blue floor or the orange floor like at the clinic three weeks earlier? And the always entertaining light switches have provided some old fashioned fun for him..on and off...on and off..
It is much more quiet in the room now. Always a multitasker.. able to watch Elmo, play his leapster with one hand and an ipad with the other...His concentration is still divided, but now it is shared between the pain in his throat, the nausea, and the wheel of fortune game on his ipad. He doesn't complain about the changes going on in his body...but, I can read it on his face.
I haven't heard much about the rides at the mall or going to Target now. His world is tightenening up. The chemo and the war going on inside his little body are catching up with him. His world, for now, is his bed. He is weak from the battle and even talking is a lot of work. Most all of his meds are now given through IV along with his nutrition. "Lay by you, Momma," he says... I am so honored to be invited to his little world...to comfort him in any way I can.
The view from his bed as I lay beside him is not what I expected. It is not dark or dingy like a scene from an old movie. The colors are soothing, the walls feel light and not confining. The blankets and stuffed friends from home bring familiarity that is needed in a hospital room. It is still a small, small world...but there is comfort there. For now, as the battle wages on, we will bring the world to him...
My sweet, sweet little boy... What a privilege it is to enter into your world. What an honor it is to hold you in your bed, to care for you when you are sick...to love you with all of my heart. How every mom wishes they could trade places with their child and take on the suffering for them. But, God is so near in this room...He is speaking to you...Comforting you, reminding you of all His promises to you, giving you peace. Your world may be small, but your God is so big, sweet Elijah. And He knows your every need.
And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. Phil 4:19
In just a few days, His world shrunk again. We talked of the elevator some more. Then P3, the parking ramp level...and we talked about what was going on outside the window of his room. He has a great view..the Minneapolis skyline, road construction, ambulances, helicopter landings...even an occassional dumpster diver can be observed for 20 minutes of suspenseful entertainment. We no longer needed the line on the floor...he knew now he wasn't getting out Of his isolation room for awhile.
The room has been getting smaller. Lots of trips to the "potty" have broken the days up for Elijah. So much talk about who was going to flush..the nurse or Mommy? Not Elijah.. it's too loud for him. Lots of talk about the blue floor or the orange floor like at the clinic three weeks earlier? And the always entertaining light switches have provided some old fashioned fun for him..on and off...on and off..
It is much more quiet in the room now. Always a multitasker.. able to watch Elmo, play his leapster with one hand and an ipad with the other...His concentration is still divided, but now it is shared between the pain in his throat, the nausea, and the wheel of fortune game on his ipad. He doesn't complain about the changes going on in his body...but, I can read it on his face.
I haven't heard much about the rides at the mall or going to Target now. His world is tightenening up. The chemo and the war going on inside his little body are catching up with him. His world, for now, is his bed. He is weak from the battle and even talking is a lot of work. Most all of his meds are now given through IV along with his nutrition. "Lay by you, Momma," he says... I am so honored to be invited to his little world...to comfort him in any way I can.
The view from his bed as I lay beside him is not what I expected. It is not dark or dingy like a scene from an old movie. The colors are soothing, the walls feel light and not confining. The blankets and stuffed friends from home bring familiarity that is needed in a hospital room. It is still a small, small world...but there is comfort there. For now, as the battle wages on, we will bring the world to him...
My sweet, sweet little boy... What a privilege it is to enter into your world. What an honor it is to hold you in your bed, to care for you when you are sick...to love you with all of my heart. How every mom wishes they could trade places with their child and take on the suffering for them. But, God is so near in this room...He is speaking to you...Comforting you, reminding you of all His promises to you, giving you peace. Your world may be small, but your God is so big, sweet Elijah. And He knows your every need.
And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. Phil 4:19
