If you remember Ariel from "The Little Mermaid", than you have a glimpse of what it was like as we drove off to the apartment just across the river.
"Mommy, look at the trees..."
"Oooohhhh...Mommy, is that the transplant (aka hospital)?"
"Mommy, I see the buildings. That's soooo cool."
"Those are REALLY bit trucks, Mommy!"
As if for the very first time, Elijah was filled with excitement over the world and all that it is filled with. His wonder and amazement at all the sights and sounds was captivating..refreshing ..heartwarming. His joy and innocence was instantly contagious and I could see the beauty again that had long lost it's charm. The world was new again..and it reminded me that it's beauty reflected just a glimpse of the creator who made it. It was a series of magical moments and I did not want them to end.
I could never have imagined that I could love this boy anymore than I did before. But, in these moments, I was filled with such love and utter joy at the little boy he had become...the one that God had created him to be. At five years old, he has faced more than most of us have in our lifetime. And he did not lose his innocence, his joy, his kindness, and his precious sweetness. He has not lived for a moment feeling that the world owed him something because he has suffered...He did not question God and His love through it all. He has not complained or whined or even worried much. He has taught me more than I knew I needed to learn..I simply didn't know that I could love him any more...
I have learned so much about the heart and soul..when a heart is full..then maybe it is time to stretch it..expand it..it won't snap..it will stretch and expand...to hold even more love...if we are willing to stretch the limits, our souls expand to hold it all. On our wall at home, it says, "Where there is God, there is love. Where there is love, there is room for one more." I wonder...What if we had not been willing to stretch our hearts beyond what seemed to be full already? What if we had said no to God when he asked us to adopt this little boy? Would we have learned the lessons he wanted us to learn? Would I have missed out on the blessings God had intended to give me through our life with our son?
Elijah has changed our lives...we would not be the same without him..He has ministered to my aching heart with his smile....his innocence and his positive attitude. Last night, as I tucked him into bed, as he was hooked up to IV meds and TPN feedings, and a tube feeding...as he barely had energy to crawl up into his bed, he asked me to read him another Bible story..."Just one more, Mommy." Thank you, Elijah, for reminding me what is really important in this life.
