What if my best just isn't good enough?
My kids ride a rollercoaster one by one into the depths of places I never ever wanted them to
be..the friends they choose...the impulsive choices they make....
As I watch them do and say things that are as far from the faith I so wanted to share with them?
What If I shared too much of myself and not enough of Jesus?
What if the best I have got to give is just not enough...
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Phil 4:8
That is what I wanted their minds to be filled with..instead there is little room for the pure, the just and the lovely..because they have chosen to fill their minds with so much crud and filth.
What if there is absolutley nothing I can do to lead them out of the deep ?
I am so disgusted...so sad... Have I used their mental health issues, their FASD brain damage as simply an excuse so that I don't have to take responsibility for their choices? Why didn't I do more...pray more...teach more....instill more Biblical truth into them?
Have I let them down? Have I let God down...and then He reminded me...
Your best just isn't good enough. It isn't. It never will be. You must rely on me..my best is so much better than good...and it is always enough.
And so I will take a deep breath again...I will rest again...knowing that I must place my children back into His arms...and leave them there...because when I try to do it on my own, my best just isn't good enough...He knows their hearts, He knows their minds..and I will trust Him to see them through to completion.
Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God. 2 Cor 3:5
Ah, Lord God! It is you who have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and by your outstretched arm! Nothing is too hard for you. Jeremiah 32:7