There are news stories that peak our curiosity...that educate us...that make us wonder..and there are news stories that impact us so deeply...unexpectedly and painfully. And I sit here sobbing, trying to pick up the pieces after reading the story about a 14 year old girl with a cognitive disability. She was bullied, ridiculed and belittled..not by other students..but by her special education teacher and her para.
The girl did not want to go to school..something she used to enjoy. The parents talked to staff and to the supervisors but they assured the father that nothing was happening. And still not convinced, he sent a concealed tape recorder. And for hours each day, the parents of this child had to listen to their daughter and the verbal abuse she was enduring all day long in school. And so I sob...
I sob for this beautiful, precious young girl. I sob for my own children. I know my kids with disabilities have endured more than I know. There are some things I know have happened over the years...a teacher who announced to a whole classroom of middle schoolers that our daughter was going to be moved to the special education class because she couldn't keep up. McKenna has been told to lose weight, wash her hair, and stop staring...all things that aren't in her control. A bus driver threatened to put hot sauce on her tongue when she was in 2nd grade..and it scared her so much we could barely get her to ride the bus that year. My other kids have been called liars, lazy and been accused of just trying to get attention when they have asked for help. Each time that we found out about the taunting, the hurtful comments, we addressed them immediately...but what about the times we do not know about...
I sob for the future of my kids...when we are no longer able to care for our children with disabilities, they most likely will live in a group home setting. How can I assure that they will be treated with dignity and grace, with compassion and kindness...it scares me to death to think of what might happen to them when I can no longer watch over them...
The vast majority of special ed staff we have worked with have been compassionate and caring people. They treat our children with respect and professionalism. But, the risk for abuse and neglect is so high...our kids are SO vulnerable. McKenna has an IQ in the 40's..who will believe her when it is a staff persons word against hers? Even she would doubt herself if questioned over and over...
I could easily get paralyzed by this fear. I think about the times that I get so tired of dealing with the cognitive disabilities of my kids...I tire of their dependency and I get frustrated with their needs...and yet I love them deeply. But, when my child becomes some one else's pay check and the people getting paid little to care for them at school, on the bus or in a group home.... how much easier is it for them to be disgusted or annoyed by the needs of some one they see as "retarded" or "stupid?"
And so I sob...and collect the pieces of my heart...and remind myself that God is where I am not. I just know that I can speak out, educate, and advocate for those with disabilities. And as I examined what upset me most about this, it was the anguish on the face of the father of this disabled child. I want to be there along side of other parents who must face this world and the sin in it. I will do what I can to change the way that the world sees the weak, the disabled, the vulnerable. I can not protect my children from evil, but I will speak for those whose voice is weak....
Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you... Psalm 55:22
