Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Elijah is a mystery. He always has been. And he continues to be...but nothing is a mystery to God and we are relying on that truth. Elijah is 141 days post transplant. His donor studies show that his new donor marrow is working...all the cells lines that are expected to be growing are found within his marrow. The cells are seen in their infancy...which is to be expected. But, they aren't making it to maturity. Something is stopping the cells from developing into mature cells. Something within Elijah's body is attacking his new cells.
Elijah's numbers (white blood cell counts, hemoglobin, platelets) have never been strong. But, there has always been a possible explanation. We are running out of explanations now. First, it was the adenovirus. It became clear that Elijah was much more sick than he appeared on the outside during his months with this infection. But, he has been free of adenovirus for several weeks now. Sometimes the medications that kids are on post transplant can interfere with cell growth. But, even that possible explanation is not holding up with Elijah.
And so we are left with little understanding of why. It is not like the transplant did not "take." A boost of cells or a repeat transplant would not solve the problem here. The cells are being manufactured in his body, they just aren't surviving like they should. His system is still very weak.
But, he looks so good. He is robust. His hair is back. His sense of humor and sweet personality touch are hearts with even more depth of emotion. Even though his system is still so weak, he has stayed healthy and infection free. That is amazing. Elijah has always looked so good..even when we know that he is not. The doctors are perplexed. They wish they had answers to explain what is going on.
And so we hold tight to the promises that we hold so dear. God knows. Nothing is a mystery to Him. He will reveal to us exactly what he wants us to know. We have entered this Christmas season with so many unknowns..to us. I have always just wanted the answers...either way, good or bad, just give it to me straight. And then I will deal with it..That is the way I want to run my life...instead of leaving it in God's hands. But, God is graciously and so patiently teaching me that His ways are so much better. I want to have control of this situation even if it is just in the knowing what will happen. This Christmas, I will lay my burdens down...all of my burdens including my uncertainties and fears.
I have felt the touch His healing hands so many times in my life. Our tender, loving God has held Elijah securely through more than most of us could imagine. I have every reason to believe that He will never leave us or forsake us...and we will rest in his promises and we wait for his answers...
at 7:38 PM