Our Christmas this year is infused with contentment and gratitude, but I still find myself feeling sad. It comes in waves as little things remind me of things we are missing... Sad that Tyler won't be home...Sad that Evan will never be home...Sad at how close we have come to losing Elijah...sad that we aren't farther in his recovery...Sad that we haven't been able to go to Church together in 6 months...
I don't want to lose the joy of Christmas really means. I don't want to get lost in details...I know we all carry with us the ghosts of Christmas past...and some of us may carry the burden what Christmas futures will hold...my prayer is that we can all live in the Christmas present...
Christmas is one of those times when the bar we create for ourselves is often too high...our expectations are not realistic...perhaps unattainable.It isn't always about having family all together and recreating the feelings we had during a Christmas season long ago...Christmas is about today with the people who are with us this year...our Christmas this year means just our immediate family home as Elijah still must avoid crowds...and I want to be there fully embracing what we do have, what we have gained this year as a family and what God has done for us this year...I don't want to get lost in the thoughts of what we don't have this year and what we "should" be...
..Christmas is about any amazing miracuous event that has changed the world...Christmas is about Jesus and his birth and that is anything but disappointing...
I think it is time to go drive-by-caroling!
