Wednesday, February 1, 2012
The doctor who oversaw Isaac's care when he was hospitalized for RSV must think the lens that I use to see is cracked..warping the image of my son. It seems that he feels we are not facing reality. He, just as he did the last hospitalization has pushed us to consider signing a DNR/DNI (Do not resusciate/Do not intubate) order for Isaac...an end of life directive.
He sees a patient with a severely damaged brain with no hope of progress. He sees a patient who can not move his body and needs help to clear his lungs of the virus that has overtaken it. He sees parents that are too emotionally connected and not able to see the "suffering" that he sees. He sees a patient who has no quality of life.
I just see my son. I see a little boy with a life worth living until God chooses to take him home. I see a little boy with a ministry that far surpasses my own. I see Jesus reflected in Isaac's eyes each time I listen to him sing to the old hymns he loves so much. He changes the world with his smile, his interaction and his sweet, sweet spirit. There may be a time when we need to consider end of life directives for our little boy..we are fully aware of that. But, this is not the time. He may be profoundly disabled..he may need 24 hour care from others. He may not be able to move his body. But, it is a privelege to care for him...and my eyes are opened to the truths of the gospel that I didn't see as clearly before he came into our lives. Isaac has so much that he enjoys..he grins ear to ear when he hears his parents voices. He has unique and special relationships with his brothers and sisters and those who love him. If quality of life is measured by the joy one feels in their heart, then Isaac has more than enough quality of life to share with the world..and he shares that joy freely.
Through Isaac, God has given us new lenses to see the world...a world in which all life is of value..no matter what. And we will not measure the value of life by external circumstances. It is God who gives and who takes away all things...and we will continue to place our trust in His timing. He knows and cares for our little boy better than we ever could...because he is His son. Sweet Isaac is of infinite worth...and we are so blessed to belong to him...
at 2:17 PM